Breaking Free: Tackling Mom Guilt for Therapist Moms
As Therapist Moms, you help people deal with their feelings, but what about your own struggles?
This blog is all about shining a light on one particularly pesky feeling called “mom guilt.” It creeps in most often when you take time for yourself, often feeling badly, even though you help others every day.
In this blog, we'll talk about the difficulties you face in balancing work and home life. People expect you to be perfect. This inevitably can cause feelings of guilt when you take a break. The fear of being judged, disappointing someone or missing something is engrained in your brain.
Let’s talk about this problem and share real ways Therapist Mom scan take care of themselves without feeling bad.
Understanding Mom Guilt in Therapist Moms
As a Therapist Mom, you have a tricky job juggling your work helping people with their feelings and being a mom at home. The reality is that you have two full-time jobs at once! Let's dig into why this is above the call of duty for either role.
Balancing Act
Therapist Moms face a special challenge – finding the right balance between being a good therapist and a good mom. The pressure to excel at both can make it feel like they're walking a tightrope. You listen to others' problems all day, and when you come home, there's a whole new set of challenges waiting for your attention. Sadly, society has set it up that you can’t be excellent at both roles by virtue of having the other role. Who decided this?!
Societal Expectations and Stereotypes
People expect a lot from moms. Being a therapist is no exception. In fact, it places more pressure onto a Therapist Mom to be needed by your family and your clients. There's this idea that moms should always be available for their families and Therapists should always be available for their clients. Stereotypes about the "perfect mom" add unnecessary extra weight to your shoulders. These expectations and stereotypes inevitably turn into feeling guilty when you take a step back to take care of yourself.
Real-Life Struggles
Let's get real with some stories. Think about a therapist mom who canceled a self-care day because a client needed extra support. Or the mom who felt guilty leaving work on time to catch her kid's soccer game. These are the everyday struggles that Therapist Moms deal with. By sharing these stories, you can see that you're not alone in feeling this way. It's a common challenge and talking about it helps.
The Consequences of Neglecting Self-Care
The Toll on Mental and Physical Health
Neglecting self-care takes a toll on Therapist Moms, impacting both your mental and physical well-being. Imagine running on empty all the time, helping others but forgetting to refuel yourself. This can lead to stress, anxiety and even physical health issues. Just like a car needs gas to run, Therapist Moms need self-care to keep going.
The Burnout Factor
A big consequence of ignoring self-care is burnout. Burnout isn't just feeling tired; it's like running out of everything. Completely. When Therapist Moms push themselves too hard without taking breaks, you risk burning out. Burnout can make you feel physically and emotionally tired, detached and less effective in helping yourself and others. It's like trying to drive a car without any gas left – it just doesn't work.
The Impact on Client Care
Here's the thing: if Therapist Moms aren't taking care of themselves, it affects the quality of care you can provide to your clients. Imagine going to a doctor who's not feeling well – it's not the best experience. The same goes for therapy. If Therapist Moms are stressed or tired, it can make it harder for you to be the best support for your clients. It's essential for you to be in good emotional shape to help others effectively.
A Harsh Reality
When moms, especially Therapist Moms, neglect self-care, it can lead to higher stress levels, lower job satisfaction and even more significant health issues. This further underlines the importance of tackling mom guilt and prioritizing self-care. It's not just about feeling better personally; it's about being able to provide top-notch care to the people who rely on you. Reality is, taking care of yourself is a crucial part of being a great Therapist Mom.
Setting Boundaries for Balance
One powerful strategy for Therapist Moms to tackle mom guilt is by setting clear boundaries. Boundaries help create a balance between work and home life. This means deciding when work time ends and family time begins. It's like drawing a line in the sand to make sure both parts of life get the attention they deserve.
Mindfulness and Stress-Reducing Activities
Another tool for Therapist Moms is to practice mindfulness and engage in stress-reducing activities. Mindfulness is about staying in the present moment, helping you let go of stress about the past or worries about the future. Simple activities like deep breathing, short walks, or even just a few minutes of quiet can be powerful tools to reduce stress and combat mom guilt.
An excellent opportunity to engage in mindfulness is on your way home from the office. Use your commute as a time to shift gears from work to home. Do some present moment awareness with your steering wheel or a piece of gum. Or crank up the tunes and belt out your fave songs or listen to a funny podcast. Anything that helps you shift from one activity to another is what we’re looking for.
Seeking Support
No one should go through it alone. Therapist Mom need a support system. Whether it's talking to colleagues, friends, or even seeking guidance from another therapist through consultation, having someone to share thoughts and feelings with can be a game-changer.
This is the exact purpose of TheraMama Haven. A space for Therapist Mom to find support, validation, encouragement and community. We support each other in all things personal and professional. If you haven’t joined our FB group, do so here.
Time-Management Techniques
Time is a valuable resource. I’m not sure about you, but as a fellow Therapist Mom, it feels like I have less than everyone else. In reality, it’s that I have so many more things to take care of in a very short 24 hours: family, clients, business and so much more. You can make the most of what time you do have with smart time-management techniques. This includes prioritizing tasks, learning to say 'no' when needed and planning regular breaks. By organizing your time effectively, you can create more intentional moments for self-care without feeling guilty. It's about working smarter, not harder.
For more time-saving tips when it comes to getting dinner on the table, see blog post Meal Planning: Time Saving Tips for Busy Therapist Moms.
The Power of "Me" Time
It’s important to remember that taking time for yourself isn't selfish; it's necessary. Scheduling regular "me" time, whether it's reading a book, taking a bubble bath, taking a nap or going for a walk, is crucial for recharging. It's like putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others on the metaphorical flight of life.
Incorporating these practical strategies can empower Therapist Moms to navigate the challenges of mom guilt, allowing you the opportunity to prioritize self-care and, in turn, provide better care for your clients and loved ones.
Cultivating a Supportive Environment
The Office Impact
The office isn't just where you do your job; it plays a big role in how you feel about that job. Whether you work in a CMH, solo private practice, collective or group practice, the culture established at work is important. Office culture can either make mom guilt worse or help ease it.
Think about the policies that are in place where you work. (If you’re solo, take a look at your own thought patterns in regards to these topics.) How are things communicated in the office? How does leadership feel and act toward family and work balance? How do your coworkers act? How supportive are they if you have to leave the office early or be gone due to an emergency? What is your workload? Do you have the dreaded “productivity” standards to meet? Are those standards draining to you?
A supportive work environment acknowledges the challenges Therapist Mom face, providing the understanding and support you need to balance work and family life without feeling guilty.
Open Conversations about Work-Life Balance
It's important for the therapy community to have open conversations about work-life balance. When Therapist Moms can talk about their challenges without judgment or backlash, it creates more understanding in our environment. Open dialogue helps break down the stigma associated with mom guilt and makes it easier for everyone to find solutions together.
It’s equally as important for work-life balance to not just be a term that’s thrown around as a sound-byte. It’s something that has to be followed through on. Not only by you, but also by those who are making policies and upholding them. For those of us in private practice, it’s one of the main reasons we wanted to leave our CMH jobs. We wanted more control over our schedule, our money and our policies. While this is the “dream”, it’s not the solution. But that’s another topic for another blog…fighting the patriarchy. 😉
Success Stories as Inspiration
Real stories inspire real change. Sharing success stories of Therapist Moms who've faced and conquered mom guilt can be a ray of hope for others. These stories show that it's possible to overcome the challenges, make positive changes and find a healthier balance. Learning from the experiences of those who've been there can motivate you to take steps toward self-care and a more balanced life. Let’s face it, even if the world isn’t perfect, we can still do what we can to make our own situation more bearable.
Building a Supportive Community
Advocating for a supportive community within the therapy profession is crucial. This means colleagues understanding each other's struggles, managers implementing family-friendly policies, and organizations fostering an environment that values both professional dedication and personal well-being. When Therapist moms support Therapist Moms, it creates a ripple effect of positive change. But this won’t happen without you speaking up and advocating for the things you need to get the balance you need.
Flexibility Matters
Recognizing that everyone's situation is unique, advocating for workplace flexibility is key. Flexible schedules, remote work options, and family-friendly policies can go a long way in alleviating mom guilt. It's about adapting the workplace to fit the diverse needs of Therapist Moms, allowing you to excel both in your profession and as parents.
By cultivating a supportive environment, the therapy community can play a pivotal role in mitigating mom guilt, making it easier for Therapist Moms to find a healthier balance and thrive in both their professional and personal lives.
I Want To Break Free!
It's evident that freeing yourself from mom guilt is not just a personal journey for Therapist Moms; it's a collective effort. The acknowledgment of these challenges, both by you who are facing them and the broader therapy community, marks a crucial step toward fostering a healthier, more balanced work-life dynamic.
As Therapist Moms implement strategies to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and seek support, you contribute not only to your well-being but also to the overall resilience of the therapy profession. The stories of those who have successfully navigated mom guilt serve as #momgoals, illustrating that change is not only possible, but within reach for many. Scratch that. It’s within reach for ALL.
Remember, this isn't only about finding ways to deal with mom guilt. It's also about reshaping workplace cultures, encouraging open conversations, and creating environments where Therapist Moms can thrive in both their professional roles and personal lives without being judged or feeling guilty about it. By cultivating this understanding and support, we embark on a journey towards a future where Therapist Moms feel more empowered, more valued, and more equipped to provide the best care possible — to their clients, families and most importantly, themselves.
Let's carry forward this dialogue, share our stories, and collectively work towards a reality where mom guilt isn't a barrier but a bridge to a more compassionate, balanced, and fulfilling professional life for Therapist Moms everywhere.
Go, TheraMamas. Get out there and kick ass. I’m here for it and I’m here for YOU!
