The Toxic Trap of Hustle Culture for Therapist Moms

TheraMamas, let’s chat about “hustle culture.”

What is hustle culture? It’s taking clients that aren’t a good fit just to fill our schedule. It’s not charging what we deserve and need to in order to live because it feels uncomfortable or someone down the street had a reaction to it. It’s throwing out all of the (frankly, half-ass) products, trainings, worksheets, etc that we can to make money. To get ourselves out there in the therapy world. It’s how we don’t listen to our own voice/body/intuition that makes us the experts in our field.

It’s how we burn ourselves the f out.

Hustle culture in our profession is unnecessary. I know this topic may hit some nerves today. That’s okay. If you’re feeling called out in this blog, I urge you to sit back and let yourself notice what feels uncomfortable and what’s coming up. Feel free to schedule a coaching call so we can chat more.

Hustle culture has become a detriment to our work. It takes away from the good work we are doing for our clients and our colleagues. It’s distracting us from what we’re meant to do.

We’ve been forced into this hustle culture by insurance companies because they don't pay us. We know this. Then there’s the societal pressures that we fall victim to. Our country thrives on being on the go, go, go. Doing. Going. Doing some more.

Everyone has an opinion and so many ways to communicate it to the masses.

And when it comes to our business, we keep up the same mindset. Here are some mindset shifts that we need to be aware of for us to stop falling into this trap of hustle culture. It boils down to the following:

*money mindset
*Imposter Syndrome
*scarcity mindset

Who am I?

Hi! I’m MacKenzie, your Self-Care Mompanion. I’m a therapist and mom, too. Over the past couple of years I’ve been working hard to embrace who I am as a Therapist and Mom. I’ve been challenging some of the societal norms of each role. Something that has helped me tremendously is finding groups of like-minded Therapist Moms to get support from.
(Pssst! If you’re reading this, that would be you.)

Keep reading for tips on how to avoid the toxic trap of “hustle culture” and how it almost got me recently.

Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is an ugly little thing that makes you wonder if you really know what you’re doing. It’s a mind trick. And I fall for it every damn time. I’m getting better at it, though. I don’t allow myself to engage in the negative spiral of Imposter Syndrome as long as I used to. I can slap myself back into reality faster, I suppose. That’s a win in my book.

When we allow Imposter Syndrome to cloud our mind, we compare ourselves to everyone else. Sadly, in this made up scenario, we will never measure up. The “hustle” keeps us engaged in this nasty thinking.

Money Mindset

What is your money story? What is the value you place on money? Are you working for your money or is your money working for you?

The way we feel about and view money is going to impact the following (and more):

• how we view the content of the work we do

• the amount of work we do

• how many hours/days we work

• how we feel about charging no show/late cancel fees

• private pay vs. insurance?

• setting fees

• engaging in self-care activities

• investing in consultation/trainings/conferences/symposiums

It’s important to identify and understand your values around money so you know how to best manage it.

Scarcity Mindset

“A scarcity mindset is when you believe there are limited resources, so if someone else has something, you feel there is less of that resource available for you,” says Tabitha Kirkland, a psychologist and associate teaching professor at the University of Washington’s Department of Psychology. 4 Ways to Shed Scarcity Mindset and Increase Collaboration

As Therapists, we engage in this thinking often. Scarcity mindset creeps in stealthily, causing you to freak the fuck out and do all the things, just to later realize that you were really okay. (Just me?)

Then you find yourself over-committed, or struggling to fit all the people into a window of time that didn’t really need filled in the first place…and if you’d maybe taken a beat and breathed through the discomfort, you may have seen that things were really okay.

It takes a great deal of resilience and intentional focus to keep yourself from freaking out. It takes me a lot of deep breaths to get through the panic and the freeze state of losing a client or having a week that isn’t quite as busy as others. It has taken me a long time to figure this out. Sometimes it takes me a minute to figure out what is happening, but when I do, I allow myself to freak out for a couple of minutes and then it’s mindfulness breathing time. Getting myself centered and calm allows me to think about my next steps.

Using this down time wisely is the key here. Sadly, the above freak out is not constructive use of your time. Some examples of using your time more wisely could include:

• catching up or working ahead on some blogs

• cleaning your office

• creating that form you’ve been meaning to make

• streamline your intake process

• engage in some self-care for goodness sake!

• go on a day date with your partner or a friend you haven’t seen in forever

“Hustle culture” is keeping us from doing the work we need to. It keeps us churning and floundering to get something to stick. It keeps us rooted in self-doubt and frustration.

I recently got stuck in this pattern. I had to stop myself. I reached out for a consultation with a colleague and was given some things to think about and guidance on how to move forward. I felt so much better after having some answers and direction. And wouldn’t you know it, the next day things started flowing again.

Getting caught up in the “hustle” is easy to do. Believe me, I get it. And we get nothing out of it but headache and blows to our self-confidence. So the next time you find yourself hustling…reach out. Let’s talk it through together.

Here's how you can work with me:

• Check out Journey to Self-Care Journaling Workbook to get started on your own self-care journey.

• Schedule a Consultation. Reach out for a consultation where we can discuss your specific challenges and goals.

• Join my FB Community TheraMamas Who Mimosa.