The Power of 'Me Time': Navigating the 'Selfish' Conundrum for Therapist Moms

The Struggle Is Real

Being a Therapist Mom means an endless list of responsibilities, from soothing a crying baby to afterschool pickup, afterschool activities and supporting clients through challenging therapy sessions.

Ain’t nothin' “selfish” in this caregiving lifestyle.

The moment a Mom, Therapist or not, starts to talk about taking some time for herself, “selfish” is one of the first words that comes out of her mouth.

Say what?!

This blog is focused on exploring the impact of embracing self-care as Therapist Moms and why occasionally prioritizing ourselves is not just a desire but a necessity.

And it’s anything but selfish.

Who am I?

Hi! I’m MacKenzie, your Self-Care Mompanion. I'm a fierce advocate for the well-being of Mothers and Therapists alike, and especially if you’re both. Through my experiences, both as a Mom and a Therapist, I've come to understand the importance of balancing caregiving (personally and professionally) and self-prioritization. It’s not an exact science. It’s different for everyone. And the result is the same for all of us: when we prioritize ourselves, we’re better off for it in every single capacity of our lives.

So, join me as we begin the conversation about the nuances of self-care without the guilt…or as I like to call it “having your cake and eating it. too!”

Embracing 'Me Time'

‘Selfish’ is a Naughty Word

Our self-care journey begins with understanding that taking time for oneself is not selfish. It’s anything but selfish. It’s a form of self-love, acceptance and, at times, a form of self-preservation. Prioritizing self-care allows you to recharge, clear your head, take care of your body and mind and slow down your thoughts, all while enhancing your ability to provide care and support to others.

Why do people use such a negative term to refer to something so wonderful and giving as this? In my office, you’re not allowed to use selfish or lazy in reference to yourself Both of these words insinuate that you’re doing something wrong.

You’re not!

Reframing the Narrative

The first and most important concept is learning to think about self-care differently. Instead of viewing self-care as an indulgence, we recognize it as a fundamental necessity. It's not an act of selfishness; it's a deliberate choice to recharge and replenish our mental, emotional, and physical reserves. Imagine a well that provides water to a village - if the well runs dry, it can no longer sustain the community. Similarly, as caregivers, if we neglect our well-being, our ability to support others diminishes.

Essential for Effective Caregiving

Acknowledging that taking care of ourselves is an essential component of being effective caregivers isn’t a revolutionary concept, although people act like it is. It's akin to putting on our oxygen masks first before assisting others on an airplane. By ensuring our own well-being, we enhance our capacity to offer genuine and sustainable support to our children, clients, and loved ones.

Breaking the Cycle of Guilt

Reframing 'selfish' as 'self-care' also helps break the cycle of mom guilt. Instead of feeling selfish for taking a moment to breathe, exercise, or engage in a personal interest, we understand that these actions contribute to our ability to be present and engaged in our caregiving roles. It's a paradigm shift that allows us to discard the unnecessary burden of guilt and embrace the empowerment that comes with self-care.

Setting Boundaries

Learning how to set boundaries is an act of self-love. Discover practical strategies to communicate your needs to family, clients, and colleagues without guilt or hesitation. (Stay tuned as we’ll dive into this more another day.)

Finding Moments of Joy

Uncover the importance of indulging in activities that bring you joy. Whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, or enjoying a hobby, these moments contribute to your overall well-being.

Overcoming the Stigma

Being a Therapist and a Mom are really difficult jobs, physically and emotionally. There are so many things battling against us - what we’ve talked about today are just a small sample of what Therapist Moms face. Let’s recap.

First off, there's the constant juggling act – the never-ending To-Do list of responsibilities and places to be. From calming a crying baby to needing to be in two places at once to being the go-to person in therapy sessions, it feels like there's always something/someone demanding our attention.

Then comes the weighty stigma – the judgmental glances and raised eyebrows when we dare to put ourselves first. The 'selfish' label hangs in the air, making us question our every move. Whether these are real or perceived acts against us doesn’t really matter, but it’s important to think about it.

And, of course, there's the dangerous balancing act. Balancing the role of a caregiving virtuoso without sidelining our own well-being feels like navigating a tightrope at the circus—striving to keep everyone else in awe while skillfully avoiding the risky plunge into self-neglect. Quite the challenge, isn't it?

I’ll Tell You What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

By embracing 'me time' without guilt, you'll find a renewed sense of energy, improved mental health, and enhanced capabilities to support those around you. It's not about being 'selfish'; it's about being self-aware and resilient.

In essence, by redefining our perspective on 'selfish,' we pave the way for a more compassionate and balanced approach to caregiving. 'Self-care' becomes a badge of honor, a commitment to sustaining ourselves so that we can, in turn, sustain others. It's not about neglecting responsibilities; it's about ensuring that our well remains full, enabling us to pour into the lives of those who depend on us.

Here's how you can work with me:

• Self-Reflection: Begin by reflecting on your own experience, expectations and self-care. How are those all impacting each other? Check out Journey to Self-Care Journaling Workbook to get started.

• Schedule a Consultation: Reach out for a consultation where we can discuss your specific challenges and goals.

• Therapists Need a Therapist, Too: Together, we'll develop personalized strategies to help you let go of perfectionism, find balance and embrace the imperfections that make Being a TheraMama unique.