Why Working Moms Struggle the Most: A Therapist Mom's Perspective

As a working mom and a therapist, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the unique challenges you face every day. You juggle many roles, from being a parent, a partner, a professional, and everywhere in between. Then you're expected to find time for yourself too. Most days feel like a tightrope walk, balancing carefully between your responsibilities and your own wellbeing.

There's not enough time or energy to go around, and you often feel like you're failing in one area or another. But the truth is, it's not your fault that you struggle so much. In fact, there are three main reasons why working moms face some of the toughest obstacles out there. Let's take a closer look.

Lack of Support: Dispelling Gender Myths

First, you cannot dismiss the impact of societal expectations and biased notions about gender roles. It's like you're fighting an uphill battle against the wave of long-standing stereotypes. You've been told that men and women's brains are by nature different. That women are nurturers and men are providers. But guess what? This isn't an innate truth. A well-versed psychologist explains in this video that it's a construct. It's a conditioning we've been subjected to over generations. Men aren't wired differently. They're just not conditioned to participate in caregiving the way women are.

Now, imagine how much easier your lives as working moms would be if your partners fully shared the load at home. If society didn't frown upon men who choose to stay home and care for their children while their partners work. It's time to dispel these myths and demand equal support from our partners, our workplaces, and society as a whole. Because in reality, we're all capable of being nurturers and providers.

The Dual Exhaustion: Physical and Emotional Toll

Also, let's talk about exhaustion. The kind that seeps into your bones, that infuses every breath, every step, every thought. This isn't just about physical tiredness, although that's a significant part of it. We're talking about emotional exhaustion. As I’m sure you know, that's a whole different beast.

As a therapist, your work is emotionally intensive. You hold space for other people's pain, anxieties, and traumas. It's a delicate balancing act of investing in others without losing yourself in their turmoil. Then, after an intense day of therapy, you go home to your children, where you're expected to don the hat of a calm, nurturing parent. Regulating your emotions in therapy and at home can feel like a never-ending uphill struggle. It's like being an emotional acrobat, except the performance never ends. Sometimes, you wonder if you’re feeling depressed or struggling with only having 24 hours in the day.

So, Let's Name It For What It Is: It's Exhausting. It's Draining.

It's downright unfair. And it's high time you start acknowledging this dual struggle; a sense of double exhaustion if you will. It's a reality that needs to be shared, understood, and addressed. Because only when you name it and bring it into the light can you begin to to find ways to prioritize your own wellbeing. To demand support from those around you and to break free from these societal expectations that hold you back.

There’s only so much coffee, tea, wine or chocolate to help you cope. You need real, tangible support and understanding. This means more than 20 minutes where no one is crying, demanding your attention or wanting something from you. You need to remember that you are more than just therapists and moms. You deserve to take care of yourself too, because when you do, everyone in your life benefits.

The 24-Hour Clock Paradox: Lack of Time and Energy

We’ve arrived at the elusive question: Is it depression, or is it the relentless ticking of the 24-hour clock? As working moms and therapists, your lives often feel like a race against time. A sprint where you're constantly lagging behind, gasping for breath, and longing for a moment of respite but finding none. Let's face it. There are only so many hours in a day. And no matter how you structure, manage, or squeeze the life out of each tick of the clock, it's never enough.

The overlapping demands of your professional and personal life leave you with little to no time for yourself. It's almost like you're borrowing from tomorrow to pay for today. The pressure is immense. It's stressful, draining, and it's relentless. You often find yourself asking: Is this really what life is? Is this constant state of exhaustion and exhaustion the price I pay for attempting to do it all? Or could it be depression sneaking up on you under the cloak of your hectic life?

Honestly, Sometimes, It's Hard to Tell

The lines blur between the physical and emotional exhaustion you experience and the symptoms of depression. Lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, feelings of hopelessness…All these can be signs of depression.

AND they can also be the result of the constant grind of your day-to-day life as a therapist mom. But here's the thing. Whether it's depression or just the brutal reality of your circumstances, it's crucial to acknowledge it. To give it a name. To bring it into the light. Because only then can you begin to seek help, make changes, and prioritize your mental health.

Remember: It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to admit you're struggling. It's okay to say, "I need a break." You deserve that. All of us deserve to feel good, to have energy, to find joy in our lives beyond our roles as therapists and moms. And it's absolutely okay to demand that. Because in the end, when we take care of ourselves, everyone benefits.

Navigate Your Self-Care Journey With TheraMama Haven

At TheraMama Haven, I understand the unique struggles of therapist moms. I know the challenges of balancing work, motherhood, and mental health. I’m here to support you in this haze of exhaustion, blurred lines, and lack of time and energy. I'm a mother and a therapist, and I've been where you are. I am where you are. Let's navigate this maze together and find ways to prioritize our well-being while fulfilling our roles as therapists and moms. Because we deserve it, and our loved ones deserve it too. So, let's start this journey towards self-care and support. Together.

This is just the beginning of an ongoing conversation. I have so much more to share with you.

Here are a few other things you may as well check out since you’re here.

• Learn more About Me

• See what the Self-Care Course is all about

• Stay up to date on upcoming Retreats

• Get some TheraMama Swag

• Check out A Journey To Self-Care Journaling Workbook, the foundation for Self-Care Circle